Up till now, the boys have managed to keep me very busy, I hadn't really had time to process my emotions and how I'm feeling now with the boys here. Last week I finally had a chance. I was watching Evelyn play, sitting snuggling and looking at the boys. I imagined what it would be like with Gabriel here, how old he'd be and what things he's be starting to do to annoy his sister. I thought about the moments we spent with him, and all the moments since. I sat there and thought: "I miss my son... my other son..."
I hope that someday, they will cherish their brother's existence in their life as much as my cousin Dan does. He keeps his older twin brothers' spirit alive even though he never got to meet them. I hope our kids will do the same.
I'm grateful that neither of the boys looks just like Gabriel. I see similarities but I also saw similarities between Evelyn and Gabriel. It seems Potters had really given Gabriel his own look.
I haven't had time to go out to the cemetery since the boys' early and dramatic arrival. I did today. It wasn't easy terrain tracking through 2 feet of hard crunchy snow. His stone was completely buried, the only giveaway to his location was his silver pole sticking out of the snow - now empty. His angel ornament gone. I have more, and I know I'll take a new one out there when I take a shovel and reveal his stone again. I didn't drag the kids out of the van, but I look forward to taking all the kids out for picnic lunches this summer.
The boys are doing great. I had them weighed at an appointment I'd made for Evelyn last week. Sawyer weighed 7lbs 4oz and Logan was 8lbs 6oz. My growing boys are definitely getting enough by breastfeeding alone. They bounce from bottle to breast without much confusion. Logan will even take a paci now and again. I'm grateful we haven't had to use formula yet. Such a blessing. We are slowly transitioning them into 0-3month clothes. The smaller brands are starting to fit - although they are swimming in them. After we are out of NB diapers we'll be moving them into size 1, but hopefully cloth very very soon!! Shouldn't be long now! Our next battle is getting Sawyer to sleep from 4am-6am instead of being up partying!
Evelyn is doing well. She was a bit sick with the sniffles last week but is getting better. She still loves her brothers and likes to help us with them. Last week she finally showed signs of being ready to potty train! yay! So last week we started. she was doing well right from the start. We have an equal number of accidents and successes. So proud of her. She has decided to be a bit jealous that the boys sleep in our room and more often than not, she ends up in our bed at some point throughout the night. Anytime we try to take pictures of the boys she always jumps in them too! I love my kids.
Evelyn was such an easy baby. Content, subtle and easy to please. I really didn't think we'd get so lucky again. But really, these boys are much like her. As individual babies they really are quite easy, as twins though they are HARD! It's a lot of work!
My day goes like this: change a baby, feed a baby. Change the next baby, feed the baby. Change Evelyn, feed Evelyn. Feed myself. Repeat. Of course it's slightly different now with Evelyn potty training, but still similar.
We are blessed. So incredibly blessed.
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