Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Evelyn LOVES fall!

With everything that's been going on with Gabriel I haven't done much updating on how Evelyn is doing, so I thought I'd do a post about how much she is enjoying the fall!  She's so smart, she amazes us everyday. She likes to copy cat anything and everything you do. She picks up on the games you play with her and will beat you at hide and seek before you know it. She likes to play chase and loves to be tickled and wrestled. She says a lot of words now but only when she feels like it. For the most part she doesn't really talk a whole lot yet, but I think its just because she doesn't really want to.

We took her out to Lost Lake fishing with Daddy, She LOVES fishes! She could watch them all day long if we'd let her. She touches them and holds them, she watches for daddy to pull one up out of the water. When we aren't fishing, she will bring us the fishing pole as if to tell us she wants to go fishing. She also likes our pet fish too, she wants to feed them ALL THE TIME! 

 She enjoyed peering over the edge into the water most of the time.  When she got bored cause daddy wasn't catching enough fish, we headed over to the playground. It was a beautiful evening for Evelyn, Me, and Gabriel to play and swing.  It was a beautiful sunset, Evelyn and I were walking around the paths while I pointed out the beautiful colors in the sky.

Splashing in the Puddles!
Evelyn's favorite thing is PUDDLES! She can't pass one up! Whenever she see's it she runs right too it. This proves to be trouble if we are planning to go somewhere. Luckily I always have a spare outfit or two incase she gets all wet. Its so cute when she does it, I just can't make her stop!

 Ren Fest 2011!

Despite my work schedule, we did manage to make out to Ren Fest for a day. We spent our time with my mom, my brother and his family and Evelyn. It was a great day at the fest, it started out cold in the morning and slowly we peeled the layers off Evelyn. It was dusty and dry so all the kids were FILTHY by the time we left. But we were able to see the shows we wanted, play with the animals and eat food. Its always a good time at the fest, this year Evelyn was able to appreciate the sites and sounds more since she was so small last year.

...And the leaves come tumbling down...
She likes to play with the leaves. She picks them up and shows them to you. So eventually I raked up a pile and let her run through them. She didn't quite get the "jumping" part, but she liked to run through them and play in them.

She was in love with her leaf pile and very disappointed when it was time to stop playing so we could leave. After she destroyed the pile I made for her, she even helped pick them up to try to make a new pile... one very small handful at a time. Then she'd take her hands and tear the pile apart by brushing her hands side to side throwing the leaves all around. 

Fun in the sun... coloring.
Evelyn loves to color. So I bought her some clearance sidewalk chalk at Wal-Mart and let her have at the sidewalk (although I think I had more fun drawing then she did!). 

She loved all the bright bold colors in the pack I bought, She experimented with all of them. More than anything though, she just enjoyed picking them up and carrying them around, moving them to a new location.

So far Evelyn is enjoying the Autumn weather and everything it brings. Although this year it seems to be a bit more random with the weather... we don't know whether to pull out the sun dresses or the winter hats...But I can't wait to see how she reacts to the snow!  Last year she was too little to understand or do anything with it.

Monday, October 10, 2011

"There is no footprint too small that it can't leave an imprint in this world."

Gabriel's Big Day
I feel like the decision to pick Gabriel's birthday is the toughest decision a person can make, and I can't seem to do it. So we've decided to leave his birthday up to him and God. I feel like maybe the reason I can't pick is because it really isn't my decision to make, it's not really up to me. The other reason is more for Gabriel. His life is going to be so short as it is, why make it shorter than it has to be? It gives us a little more time to spend with him while he's safely tucked inside my belly, happily playing and moving around. If at some point I/we decide its too much for us to take emotionally, then we'll induce at that time. But for now, we're going to leave him nestled up safe and warm. I have read that sometimes Potter's babies go into labor earlier and don't carry to full term, sometimes 32 weeks, sometimes 36 and occasionally 39 or 40.

There are a few concerns about letting it out of our hands, my brother's birthday is 2 weeks before our due date, Christmas is a little over a week before our due date, New Years is 4 days before our due date, my dad's birthday is our due date... I worry sometimes that if he picks one of those days it will ruin that day. I try to remember that no matter what day he picks, its a day to celebrate his life, everything he's taught us and how he's changed our lives. If he shares that day with another then that's how it was supposed to be.

One thing I have noticed about being pregnant with a Potter's Syndrome baby that is far different from my pregnancy with Evelyn, is the feeling when he moves and plays. I don't mean emotionally, of course that's different. I mean physically it feels different. I assume because there's no fluid to act as a cushion against his blows and squirming. That's exactly how it feels, like there's no cushion. Sometimes, when he's very active, it gets uncomfortable and almost painful. I can't explain how it feels, like getting an elbow straight to my side from the outside - except its from the inside and doesn't hurt quite that bad.

Telling our story
Sometimes its hard to decide how much information to share with people. My tummy is getting bigger and bigger and more people are starting to notice and ask questions like: "Awww another baby, when are you due?" (the greeter at Wal-mart did this to me today...).  I always have to think for a moment, and what I've come up with is this: If I am going to talk to them again,  I'll give them a breif version of our story. If I won't see them again or they don't know me, I just say "January 4th..." 

No matter how much I tell a person though, everyone is more than supportive of our decision to let him live as long as he can. They understand the need to hope and pray for a miracle to happen.

Staying Home
I noticed lately that we've been sort of hibernating at home a lot. When I think about it, I realize that a lot of that has to do with the fact that its a little hard to go out. When we're with people it seems like there is a great big elephant in the room... People are concerned, want to know that we're doing ok, but are afraid to ask specifics, afraid I might cry, don't want to over step their bounds... But please don't worry. I like telling our story, it gives me an outlet to get my emotions, fears, and thoughts out in the open. Sure, I might cry, but don't be afraid. It feels good to cry. Sharing our story gives me strength, gives me hope that our baby will have a legacy, that people will know his story and share his story with other people.