Tuesday, March 19, 2013

RSV Check update

Last night went well. I started a routine with them: feed when hungry, neb every 4 hours, then steam in the bathroom till there's no hot water left, suction noses, repeat 4 hours later. The rest of their day is spent around out humidifier. It seems to be helping. They were sounding pretty good all the way till this morning. Even their breathing stabled out a little bit. They woke up a little rough but after doing our routine again they were a little better.

They are eating less, but are eating something. I try to make them eat every 3 hours (4 at night) for a minimum of 5 minutes. Usually they go to their normal 8-10 minutes, but it's not solid eating. They spend a lot of time latching and unlatching and little time actually eating.

Of course the breathing improvement doesn't mean much. Even though they are sounding better, they still aren't having the right amount of oxygen absorption. At their check today, they are still hovering right around 89-91, still borderline. Not better, but not worse either. The doctors say its about 50/50 if someone will respond to nebulizer treatment, it seems our boys are, at least a little bit.

You know it's bad when you go to the clinic and the nurses and staff get anxious over your babies appearance. Each time I get "I don't know how you do it, I'm getting anxiety and I've only been watching them for a few minutes. I would be a wreck. Do you sleep?" This is a loaded question/statement.

Dr Landers is the same way. "You amaze me. So put together with 3 under 3, breastfeeding twins, and just going on like you never knew any different. You were made for this." When I went in yesterday, she sat down, appeared worried. I just looked at her and said "so... Shall we talk about my mental status? (Insert exhausted/nervous chuckle)." She said "we sure can, how are you holding up?" My response: "I'm kidding, I'm ok, the kids are not."

But the reality is:
No. I don't really sleep, I set an alarm for every hour at night so I can check their status, are they breathing ok, do I need to steam them? Suction their nose? I am a wreck, I don't sleep, I'm stressed out. My animals have had almost no attention. I can't tell you the last time I actually showered (besides a quick rinse while I steam them) and I have no idea when my hair was washed. I haven't done laundry since early last week and wore the same pants 4 days in a row. I've completely stopped pumping milk (no time) and I'm lucky I even eat. I haven't put the boys in cloth diapers since Friday because I don't have time for extra diaper changes and Diaper laundry (so depressing!). My housework is at a standstill. I am failing as a friend right now. My relationship is suffering big time. I can barely keep it together. And this, is WITH help each day. But my kids are being taken care of and eating, and Evelyn is still soaring with her potty training. So I'm not failing entirely.

I am glad we are somewhere around day 6 or 7 of this RSV/bronchiolitis, hopefully that means we are right near the end and will be improving soon. I need them to improve soon. I have a lot of catching up to do...

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