I realize this is going to be a little... controversial. Please don't judge me or attack me for writing this. Its part of our journey and I feel I should include it in Gabriel's blog.
A few months back. A co-worker of mine revealed that he has a special gift - he's psychic. He did a reading on me that was incredibly accurate. He told me things about Derrick, about myself, about our lives that are not just vague facts. Then I asked the all important questions: Is Gabriel ok? Will we lose any more children? He said Gabriel is fine and no, he doesn't see us losing any more children. Then he added that we would be pregnant by the fall and that he feels like it would be the same spirit coming back to me. He said Gabriel wasn't supposed to come to earth so soon.
When we went out for my birthday, I had the chance to have a breif meeting with Gary Spivey. He's a world reknown psychic who has predicted many many events and has an incredible talent. He is on a local radio station (KDWB) frequently and I try to listen to at least part of it. I love Gary, to put it simply. I agree with his belief system and truly believe he has a special gift. He offers private readings but I can't afford that. He puts on workshops and retreats but I can't afford that either.
When I was standing in line to meet Gary Spivey I had a million questions running through my head, which of my one questions would I ask??? Derrick went first, he was very adament that this guy was full of it - until he asked his question and walked away shocked that Gary knew as much as he did about him.
Then it was my turn. I sat down - star struck (I love Gary) and simply asked: "I need to know if my son is ok, and if we'll lose anymore". He took a minute. Asked a couple questions about Gabriel and said: "You have a lot of worry, you don't need to worry, your son is fine. Right now I don't see you losing anymore children, but sometimes those things can be hard to predict."
I went to stand up, my turn was over, he answered my question. He tugged my hand and I settled back in. He said "I see you being pregnant very soon, I feel like its going to be the same spirit coming back to you." Holy tears. Complete breakdown at that moment.
I was shocked. Two psychics, one personal and one professional told me the exact same thing! I never told Gary anything about my reading with my co-worker. This was crazy. I got up and ran into Derrick's arms - bawling. I was trying to tell him what he said to me but it was only coming out in bits and pieces.
After I calmed down for a minute, I realized that everyone around was watching me with Gary, they were all wondering what was said. A few came up and asked - I gave them a brief explanation. When I told my friends and my sister in law, they were tearing up too. "Now you will get to see what Gabriel would have been like, you'll get to see him grow up!"
It was intense to say the least.
So now, I have to ponder all of this with our next baby. How will this effect our next pregnancy? I can't let it effect how I parent the next child. It just has to be something settled into the back of my mind.
In the meantime, Gabriel is nestled up to my grandpa's chest, just waiting for the next time I see him again... Whenever that may be.