After Gabriel was born, I began working on his scrapbook. I got stopped by my emotions when I got to his birthdate. I looked at the pictures all the time so that wasn't the problem. I don't know why I just couldn't get myself to work on that part. Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart and printed 127 pictures and began working on his book again. It feels good to be working towards finishing his book. I want to have it to look at whenever I please without filing through all the pictures and scrolling through my computer files.
I have found that its actually been very therapeutic for me to be doing this for him. Its a way for me to memorialize him and remember that day.
Pamper me time :)
A friend from high school got in touch with me. She'd found our blog and read our story. The salon she works at offered me a chance to pamper myself... a free pedicure. I hadn't realized till that moment that I'd sort of let myself go. I was focusing so much on greiving, Evelyn, Derrick, and everything else in life that I forgot to take care of myself. The last thing I did for me was go get my haircut in December. So we set an appointment and I scheduled my mom to come babysit. I got there and was in relax and socialize mode. We were able to catch up on everything thats been going on since High School and how various people are doing. An older lady came in when we were almost done and we while we were talking about Gabriel. She was truly touched by our story and strength. It was nice to share our story with another person who truly cared. (She was also thrilled with the fact that I chose to stay home with Evelyn instead of working full-time).
I was so grateful that someone thought to give me the chance to have some time to myself. I definitely needed it. Some time away from life, Evelyn, and the grieving process. Some time to focus on me and make myself feel good again. To say the least it was much needed, and now I have sexy feet! I've never had a pedicure quite like that - it was luxurious. She did a phenominal job :)
And, I feel great today. My thoughts of Gabriel haven't been sad ones, sure I miss him, but they've all been happy memories of his life with us. I'm grateful for feeling this way today.