Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Grieving and Healing

Updates to what's going on in our lives lately.

A week and a half ago I received a text message that I hoped I'd never receive.  A friend, nearly 20 weeks pregnant, lost her baby.  I was heartbroken.  Grateful that she thought to text me right away, happy to help her through the process, but still heartbroken.  Nobody should ever have to live the horrible reality that is losing a child.  She's a strong one, she's taking the journey step by step.  I'm glad she's turned to me for help as it's part of my healing process too.

This last weekend we went back to Faith's Lodge with Nickolas' Gift support group.  It was amazing to be back and focusing on Gabriel again.  When we arrived, the first thing we did was look for our rock that we painted last year.  We remembered exactly where we placed it, but sadly couldn't find it.

The next morning a friend and I returned to Sophia's Bridge and thankfully found Gabriel's rock, buried under brush and soot.  I had to find it, it was breaking my heart to think it had disappeared.  A part of me wanted to grab it and bring it home so it wouldn't get lost again, but in the end I knew it should stay where it belongs - along side hundreds of other angel's heart rocks.

We did a lot of arts and crafts in memory of Gabriel: wood burning, birdhouse, magnets, pumpkins and more.  It's so healing to be able to say and write his name over and over around people who "get it". People who will never think twice about it.  Leaving is always hard, it's a place I could stay forever.    I'll post some photos I took while I was there at the end of this post.

Molly Bears is a site where you can order a teddy bear that weighs as much as your baby weighed at birth, it's geared specifically for parents who have lost a baby under 12 months old.  They are a non-profit and very overwhelmed by the number of requests they receive so they only open their waiting list for 1 day and up to 200 bears each month. I've tried for months and months to get on the list but I always get on too late, after the 200 bears limit is reached. But not this month, this month I saw it right away and got my order in!  It's a long wait for a bear, 6-9 months I believe.  I'm just grateful to have finally got my request in!


Here's some photos from our weekend away :)

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