My reality

There are certain things about my reality, that nobody should ever have to deal with. In a few short weeks, Miss E will be starting preschool. While this is bitter sweet for me, she's extremely excited. 

Over the course of the last few weeks, we've received countless letters from the school. Some about the schedule, more money they need, school supplies and orientation invitations. Today we received a letter from her teachers, it was really sweet and on the back showed photos of them and some things about them. Evelyn was excited to see the face of her teacher. Finally a name and face: Mrs Sandy. 

Along with this letter was a "student star!" Form. Apparently these forms (with a photo attached) will be put into a book. Each week a student gets to take the book home to learn about their fellow classmates. 

It's all basic information: name, birthday, age, likes, etc. But there's always one thing...

 "I have _____ people in my family, their names are _____."

Of course my instant thought was "do I include Gabriel or not?" This is a common problem I face everyday as I meet people, I have figured out the answer - if I will see them again, I include him. If I won't see them again, then I don't. 

By that rule, since I'll see them all again, I should include him. Besides, it's a chance for her teachers and other parents to know about him and that we include him in our family. Next to his name I would include "... (He lives with Jesus)" since it's a religious school.

 On the other hand, this is going to 4 year olds. They will probably be confused and bring up uncomfortable questions to their parents, who would then be struggling to find a way to explain death to their innocent little kids.  

So what do I do? And why on earth was I dealt the hand that has to deal with things like this? I spent countless hours today pondering which way to go. 

I don't know what I'll do yet. I've left the line blank and will likely talk to her teachers about it at orientation. I can't decide, and a part of me is hoping they'll decide for me. Although I'm a little scared of what they may say. I find often times people don't think before they speak.  Hopefully they'll be kind and let me down gently, because in my heart I really want to include his name.